Sole remaining engineer resigns leaving no one on the project when he is denied a $40k raise for increased responsibility his coworker and friend is forced to resign to care for their father: 'I cost my ex-employer $500,000 and two years of productivity'

We often think about work-life balance in the sense that the two are equals and that we need to balance them together. Really, this isn't true at all, and I'm convinced the very idea of there being a "work-life balance" is a lie that has been sold to us to convince us to put more of our lives into our work.

Really, all things as they should be, there is no balance between the two. Your working life exists to support life itself; it is something that fits functionally into it, nestled safely tucked in its place as a part of your life, not something that exists in counterbalance to it, siphoning out all of the joy out of living. Want evidence of this? Well. Even if you're reading this right now full of doubt, it will only take one medical scare, one major issue with your health, to convince you that this is true.

You probably already know someone who has devoted their life to their work, only to live to regret it when they develop limiting health issues without ever truly living. Or had their employer throw all of their hard work back in their face as soon as they had to miss a couple of weeks for a medical reason. This might have made you think twice about the stress you have been causing your own body, but you'll never truly understand it until it is yourself or someone very close to you.

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Author image for Brad Dickson Brad Dickson
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  • 01
    A group of coworkers work together on a project in a meeting room
    via Redmind Studio

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • This was all at the forefront of the issues that arose in this workplace when one of two engineers was forced to resign in order to deal with a family medical emergency that had left his aging father in desperate need of care. Rather than being concerned about the engineer and his father's well-being, the employer was only concerned about whether or not the project they were working on with a close friend was going to be finished in time.

    This left the friend as the sole engineer on the project. Not only was he put out about how the employer had treated his close friend, but he was now facing more work and responsibility, with the promise of more pay never materializing…

  • 02

    "I cost my ex-employer $500,000 and two years of productivity over a $40,000/yr raise"

    Years ago, I worked for a small (30 employee) emergency telecommunications company in Western Michigan for $80,000/yr. This company hired me to help make a new embedded Linux product with an IP camera. For a year or so,
    via deleted
  • 03
    all was going well until a co- worker's dad had a stroke, and he had to resign during the middle of the project. The co- worker also happens to be my longest-lasting friend.
    via deleted
  • 04
    Upper management's first reaction when they heard about my friend's dad's stroke wasn't, "Is his dad OK?" It was: "Can you finish the project without him?"
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  • 05
    Mistake 1: I should have quit right then and there, but I was young and naive. Instead of quitting, I asked for a $40,000 raise to cover the added responsibility of being the sole engineer on an entire project that could have made the company millions.
    via deleted
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    Mistake 2: The CEO (David) told me he would give me the raise once the product was released. (I did not get this in writing. Good god, I was dumb.)
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    Mistake 3: I continued to work longer and longer hours. For over six months, I worked 80+ hours a week. I was there at 04:30, and I left at or later than 20:00. My marriage suffered, and I became a zombie and depressed, but I was naive enough to try and "climb the corporate ladder."
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  • 08
    I had enough at the 6~ month mark, and I went to the CEO and demanded my raise right then and there. He looked at me and said, "what raise? I never promised you a raise. We are trying to cut costs to increase their EBITDA! I could replace you in 2 weeks." (I'm not too fond of the very sound of that acronym now.)
    via deleted
  • 09
    I immediately started to look for new jobs and found one within three days that was fully remote and paid $120,000 a year. I put in my two-week notice, and in my resignation email, I specifically stated that this is more than enough time as David said he could replace me in 2 weeks. The panic that ensued was fantastic. Immediately they
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    had to hire a 3rd party engineering company to finish the project, which ran around $500,000. After that, it took them over a year to find a replacement for me, and he left within a year. I later messaged him on LinkedIn, and he said the company had gone to shit, and they continually blamed me for the failure of the product. The company hasn't made a single
    via deleted
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  • 11
    post on social media in almost a year, and they haven't pushed any updates to any of their products in about the same amount of time. Bonus things about my insane time at the company:
    via deleted
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    • The CEO looked at me once and said, "The owner understands sacrifice. He had to sell his summer home." • The CEO also went from a fairly reasonable guy to a straight-up lumberjack looking crazy born-again ranting mad-man with a huge beard.
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    Know your worth, and quit early. Raises are a scam, and companies would much rather cut off their nose to spite their face. If you are doing extra work you will be noticed, but not for a promotion. You taught the employer that you will do extra work for nothing. No job is worth your health or your family.
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  • 14
    Friends dad edit: He lived. The tough-as-nails bastard spent three days on the floor before a neighbor found him on the brink of death. My friend moved to the Bay Area for a year and took care of his house, finances, and physical needs while he recovered. He still has trouble fully forming sentences and doesn't have fine motor skills anymore, but he can walk, talk, dress and bathe himself now!
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    My friends dad having the stroke made my friend re- evaluate how hard he had been working and decided that famiglia should always come first.
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    Yung_Hung_ You were VERY gracious by giving them a 2 weeks notice.
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  • 17
    OP [deleted] Yeah, again, naive and dumb. The best part is, they tried to assign me tickets during my two weeks and I straight-up refused to do so. I wrote a tiny bit of documentation for the 3rd party engineering company and "worked from home" the rest of the two weeks (I played Destiny.)
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    Thus_Spoke The moral of the story is never, ever work for a promise. That promise could be a promotion, a raise, a discretionary bonus, or an equity grant. If you don't have it in hand, on paper, and contractually guaranteed, it's not worth a cent. Businesses function on the basis of contracts. The reason you don't get a contract for any given promise is because they intend not to fulfill it.
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    OP [deleted] Yep. Always get things in writing. I would go as far as to get any promises of extra monetary compensation signed by a notary these days.
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  • 20
    OP [deleted] You didn't cost your employer that your fucked up employer cost your employer that.
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    [deleted] This is a good point. Their bad management is 100% to blame. I blame myself for not leaving sooner!
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    [deleted] Yep. Always get things in writing. I would go as far as to get any promises of extra monetary compensation signed by a notary these days.
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  • 23
    OP [deleted] Also: FUCK YOU DAVID
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  • 24
    WhySoSerious 770 Starting to realize people here aren't anti-work, they're just anti- shitty work environments.
    via deleted
  • 25
    OP [deleted] Yeah, with "antiwork" and, "Defund the Police," we really suck at messaging.
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  • 26
    TheActualBranch Tree How was Destiny? I've heard it's a game you gotta grind out a lot.
    via deleted

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workplace discussion employment issues antiwork workplace-stories jobs employee employment-discussion job work i quit quit employees overworked-employees workplace Horrible Bosses quitting employment in the workplace
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